Why "The Unkept 3AM Thoughts"?

I understand that my blog has an intriguing name. Today I'll dive into it a little more so you can get a little more insight on my mind.

Lately, and more frequently this year I have been having much more late nights and all-nighters then I have ever had before. Call it major procrastination or senioritis, whatever term you want to use, they all mean the same thing: that due to my annoying laziness I always tend to leave things to the last minute.

In the heat of those moments in between yelling at myself though, I find myself more focused and driven than ever. Maybe it's the deadline or the sheer panic of me inevitably one day not actually finishing what it is I need to get done, but in those late hours of the night, I find less and fewer things distracting me.

Now that you have a little more context as to why I dont sleep a majority of the time let's go back to the topic at hand. After finishing my late night cram sessions and retreating to my bed, I often marvel at the eerie silence that fills my house. Even though we are a home of three people, my parents make their presence very known, by either talking way too loud, watching tv way too loud or just travelling around the house in a very loud way. So at 3AM I can just stare up at my ceiling and look at the light filtering in from my window. I can hear my parent's steady breathing in the next room and I can just think.

Everything comes to me at 3AM, ideas for novels, plans for the future or just questions about my existing reality.

There is something very raw about being awake at 3AM. You can just exist without anyone, for some quiet moments you are just you with yourself. No one is there to judge you or change the way you act and react. It is the purest form of yourself and that is something I cherish.

I named my blog the unkept 3AM thoughts because I appreciate what it means to me. This is me trying to get over my fear of being all and entirely myself in front of another person, this is me being awake at 3AM, this is me sharing with you the mess that is my brain.