This is my third attempt on starting a blog and I have yet to find out where this goes. In my first attempt, I was 12. I had no idea what my writing style was, how to write properly or what having a blog meant. I couldn't even muster up the courage to write under my real name, scared that in the unlikely chance, someone I knew would read it and confront me about it.
Writing has always been my dirty secret, for some reason, someone knowing that I wrote words on a page, made me want to bury myself. In all honesty, I dont remember why. That being said, I still carry some of that fear to this day, right now even as I write this. After reading into it some more I think I know now. I think its the part of writing, where you expose yourself to the world. Where people could read what you wrote and see what you were thinking.
I have never met a person who completely knew me. And so, when I imagined other people reading my words, I was filled with fear about how they would react, how they would think of me when they found out everything about me. And thus, the blog had always started but never continued, I always stopped short because of those thoughts.
It's been 5 years since my first attempt and I am much different now. I still carry all those fears I had when I was 12 but I am learning more about being unapologetic for who I am. A lot of things have changed since I was 12 actually, and with all these changes happening in my life, I've decided that this blog is long overdue and my time to keep my self in my bubble of safety has run out.
To keep up with my insanely crazy, busy and messy life, I intend to keep this blog, so in a couple of years, even if no one else reads it, I would still be able to see how I've grown and all the ways my life has been turned upside down. It is going to be like my brain spread out on a silver platter, all my thoughts and ideas and everything split for my personal view.
And that's enough for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment