back in business

       It has been a whole year since I started this blog and obviously as you can tell, keeping up with it hasn't really been a priority at all. In all honesty, I was scared to reopen this page, re-read what I was going through last year, it was dark and scary and extremely raw. That was the purpose of it, to be utterly honest, it was what I needed because I couldn't physically tell anyone what happened but I needed to get it out, to release some of the pressure on my mind so I could maybe start to move forward.

        I'm back now, a different person, but I still have the same wounds. The past haunts me to do this day and I don't know if that will ever change. I survived though, and I can keep surviving but I think I have survived enough to write what happened down and maybe share it with someone else. 

       No one reads this blog, I doubt anyone even knows it exists but I'm hoping that by collecting these posts together maybe one day in the future when I've lived enough, I can bound together with my life into a book, a memoir, and hope my pain makes someone else feel just a little bit less alone in the world. 

       I'm going to organize my thoughts and I am going to make a list below of all the things that have happened in my life worth writing about, and then I'm going to write about them, everything that happened, what I did and felt about it and clear cut it. 

Things to tell; 

- a new university, new city, new me; what it's like moving out 

- F R I E N D S and the perils of knowing other people 

- adulting 101, being a teenager that pays bills 

- my family sucks, what a surprise 

- living through a pandemic, suddenly everyone has a podcast? 

- I might have self-diagnosed my depression, but I'm pretty sure I'm right 

- discovering just how much trauma impacts your life and how going through it brings up even more 

Anyways stay tuned, ill be around and back in business